Trust Your Bike

by The Amy Hoffman

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04:47
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04:38
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04:45
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05:45
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02:34
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04:54
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credits

released September 16, 2014

All songs written by The Amy Hoffman.
The Amy Hoffman: guitar, vocals, ukulele, toys, noise
Christine Moad: bass
Donnie Hogue: drums

Recorded at Wellspring Sound, Acton, MA, The Record Company, Roxbury, MA and Living Stone Studios, Allston, MA.

Produced/engineered by Cam Porter.
Mixed by Jeff Smith at Studio2100.com
Mastered by Ian Kennedy at NewAllianceEast.com

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license

all rights reserved

about

The Amy Hoffman Boston, Massachusetts

Endearingly awkward pop/rock dynamo. Usually adventuring, always in love with you.

See also: Future Teens

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Track Name: Oh, Bother
I've been trying not to tell you that it's getting really hard
to cast away this sinking feeling enveloping my heart.
It's nothing I can't handle, I've been doing this for years.
but when I'm alone too long, I lose myself in here.

You didn't have to tell me, I know something's been wrong.
with the way I hang my shoulders and hesitate to talk.
So I call it keeping busy, blame it on a lack of sleep.
I've been alone so long, I don't feel like fighting.

I've been living like solitaire.
I've been choking on my self awareness.
I'll hole up and hold it down until I'm emotionless
and laugh myself off the hook if anyone notices.
Even starfish stories can't draw me out
I don't need a pity party to drag me down.

I didn't want to tell you, but it just got so damn hard
to lie awake each evening knowing on my own, this can't be cured.
I'm so scared that it's contagious, that my burden's your expense.
When you're alone this long, love ceases to make sense.

If I'm alone too long; I can't be alone too long
Don't leave me alone too long, I'm so afraid I'll stay like this.
Track Name: Vernacular
He put me on the redeye, sent me head first for the surface of a shallow pool that I can't free myself from. And no distance put between us can extract this feeling of weakness that I'm overcome by on a regular basis.

When my vernacular fails me and it's all I can do to stay standing, it becomes so clear he's still got me caught in that stare and I can't tear myself away. No, I wouldn't dare look away.

I've finally stopped watching the scoreboard, let the clock run out our spring afternoons as the lights dim thoughts he once owned. But how can I harness this feeling left behind by my most infamous weekend? A situational rebellion; a swing and a miss, but like this, no one wins.

...from all that's it's done and all that I've caused. Why can't I just be enough to fight this flood thats slowly consuming all I have and carrying us out to sea. I swear, this uncertainty will be the death of me. It's not what I want, but it's all that I've got.

When my vernacular fails me and it's all I can do to stay standing, it becomes so clear he's still everything I dreamed, but nothing I want or need.
Track Name: When You're in a War
We’re up in smoke. The curtain fell when you made that call, and the “oohs” and “ahhs” only serve to break the silence in an otherwise speechless standoff.

I ran off another night of bloodshot stares and harsh remarks without knowing what I’d lost. I’d hoped you wouldn’t write me off just yet, but you never did believe me when I said,

“Never again. I swear with all that I am we’ll make it out okay despite all of your dismay.” If I still had any say, you never would’ve walked away.

Rides and jobs are all that matter now that the compliment has run dry, and so have I. It’s left me without anything, but something in me won’t allow me to quit wasting my time here.

One last ditch to clear me from your conscience before you check this off your list. You jounced the limb and sailed away with no regard for every time I know you heard me say,

“Never again. I swear with all that I am we’ll make it out okay despite all of your dismay.” If I still had any say, you never would’ve walked away.
It seems a separate peace we’ve made. Not a thing will ever be the same. Each sleepless night remains in Maginot Lines and cries of, “I don’t have the time, but all is absolutely fine without you.”

I know it’s not what you wanted, but I hope it’s all you dreamed. I know it’s not what you asked for at all, but I hope it’s got you thinking,

“Never again. I wish with all that I am we could make this all okay despite all the games I’ve played.” If I still had any say, you never would’ve walked away.
Track Name: Money & Miles
Hold that thought - we jumped the gun.
I'm not saying it wasn't right,
just could've bought us a few more nights.
Hold that thought - keep it close.
Somewhere only you can find
for all the times you're reminded

of where you were and who I was when we still felt like home.

If I bury us beneath the money and the miles, will I lose you for good?
I can't wait forever for the tolls to suit you better, though I should.
But I'm this traveling soul and you're one pensive kid,
and you and I don't mix with money and miles.

Mark that page. Stand up straight.
So you can still see those weekend lights
without wondering if all’s fine.
Mark that page. Keep it safe,
but don't wait up for the closing round
to free you from the sound

of waving flags and turning wheels burning in our ears.

It’s got me worried that the cost of missing out is greater than the price of messing up.

Darling, bury me beneath the money and the miles and I'll take the blame.
Track Name: No Purple
Temperatures rise as guards come down. We're all well overdue for some much deserved shuteye. "Where've you beens?" and "Hurry homes" flood the other line, but the survey says there's just not enough time.

More than anything, I'll miss seeing those smiles. If there's one thing I'm afraid of, It's the thousands of miles.

Pack up and get gone, but never let go. From here on out we're never alone. Not a day goes by that you're not on my mind. I know that summit sunrise hates to see us go, but if home is where the heart is, I'm never leaving Colorado.

Days dwindle all too quickly, but we're getting better at dancing our way through the rain and decorating to the tune of our favorite holidays. And oh, the way these voices can fill a room, but it's got nothing on those clear night skies, always/got me singing it "must be nice."

Go on and show them what you're made of and let your light shine. I'll fall asleep with your memory and wake up with your joy.

Everything about you is contagious, and I love the way you always make this worth the fight. Just know I'm always on your side.
Track Name: 83
Your search led us to our wit's very end, but that smile gave us reason to run home again. Every night spent praying for good news from a distance left me at a loss for a way to bide the time.

I'm not ready to give you up just yet. There are so many things we didn't get to.

When I see you in your new digs, you'd better be all warmed up with your set drawn and ready to sing your lungs out. When the Orchard lost its trees, you brought the whole world to its knees and left us all to wonder why you had to leave.

What I wouldn't do to relive our youth and get back to taking over small town streets with you. For every mile you put on, I must have missed a thousand hints, and now I'm making up for every single step I skipped.

With each action, you showed us how to celebrate our days. Even in your absence, you've taught us to choose joy despite the waves.

May we be so full of life. May we all shine so bright.
Track Name: Coming Clean & Keeping Distance
Can these bones live without a shred of dignified belief? Can I thrive on my own promises?

I've been known for fighting what I cannot see. I've been lost more times than I can count/admit to anyone.

Can I get by on what my mind calls comfortable? Can I find a way to keep you near the closing fray?

I've been known for pushing until my spine gives. I've been caught running from your ghost. All my life, I've been looking

When my gut breaks the tie between my head and my heart and I'm alone, where will I stand? Will I still stand up on my own? At my best, I'm a stagnant, tired mess, calling out in alarm. Will you be around when I'm not around, or am I on my own?

Must I acknowledge the countless steps you've taken to claim my all? Will today prove too much if I keep my arms crossed?

I've been known for trying to hold you off. I've been stuck with my stubborn stock. You alone know.

I can't stay out of fear. I won't believe on sensation. Until devotion meets emotion and I find a reason for this, I can't follow through.
Track Name: The Southwest Corner
I know it's been some time since last I made it back
but from what I've heard, it's better late than not again or ever at all.
If I return to find they've all moved on
to something finer instead
at the least I'll have the street signs
to keep the memories in my head
of aimless drives, staying out all night to watch each kingdom meet its end
evading dawn and holding on just beyond the riverbend.


In the short time I've been allotted,
I'll be pulling out all the stops to catch the spots that make this place shine.
I took a mental picture that will surely show my age.
Though little will be as I left it,
I'm confident nothing's changed
About the menu items, schoolyard problems, the basements stuck in time
And the way this small town's guiding lights
Remind me, you remind me I'm alive.
Track Name: The Lesson
I’ve been pushed so hard
Into this situation I always planned to disregard.
Now all I want
Is control of my own life.
All I can do
Is stick it out another night.

If it’s all about numbers, I might as well leave just to bring down the headcount of people like me.

If you want to keep my attention,
You’re going about it all wrong.
Buy me a ticket, I’ll pay off the fees
Just as long as I never have to return to this misery
That’s overtaken me.

So far nothing’s worth this
Settlement with no purpose
I just want to be proven wrong.
I’ll keep the bar set low
To get me through another night
Track Name: Survivor's Guilt
I have a hard time
wrapping my head around
your lack of reaction and misplaced attraction to all tragedy has sown.

We're so tightly entwined,
so deeply seated,
but it's all location, region, and station when it comes to your minds.

How can you live like it's all the same?
How can you live like nothing has changed?

We're holding out
and making brilliant strides,
but as the months pass the shows of support fall too short where it counts.

Time has decayed
all recognition
While no eyes go unscathed in the face of such battered terrain.

How can you live like it's all right?
How can you live like we've nothing to fight?

I've carefully crafted every stock phrase just to keep this at bay,
but no matter how long I let it sink in, nothing can lift the stains.

How, by any stretch, can anyone please explain to me just
How in the name of all we've lost, tell me

How can you live like we're all clean?

I have a hard time living like I'm clean.
Track Name: Closing Time
The night your levees finally failed
is the same I was informed
that you have given up
despite the lengths I'd traveled for us.

My love knows many owners,
but my heart was yours alone.
and you gave it back scribbled and worn
like a line torn from your poems.

So I promised then and there to let you go
and I wouldn't let you run off with my hope.

Someone will love me like you couldn't.
Someone will make up for every time you wouldn't
Risk your neck, face down your fears, stretch your comfort, dare to roam.
Someone else will take me home.

The eastbound wind tore through the walls
and settled in our bones.
but I kept warm writhing
in your slow and saddening tones

I sat beside you trembling
not expecting you to say
that you can't hang on when all I am
leaves you slack jawed and amazed

I held you there for hours
you pressed in with every breath
and kept our hands entwined
like nothing had happened
When all our bets took off
I told you everything

You knew right then and there you'd made a mess.
You had the world and traded me for less.
Track Name: We're Going to the 'Ship
From the moment I walked in, I could tell you wouldn’t be around much longer.
But I’ll admit, I have long awaited your departure.
Your intentions are a clear cut contradiction of my expectations.

Excuse me, can you pull the wool from over my eyes
And tell me what I have been missing all this time?
The wins and the losses are weighing on my conscience as the streetlights keep me from sleep.
Sooner or later, I’ll be back on my feet looking out as you sing along with every melody.

In the blink of an eye, I’ve come to notice the differences between the here and now.
With the turn of every page, I’m finding more things wrong with how this one is ending.
With the curtains closed and the lights down low, it’s hard to realize just how fast the fog can form.

Second thoughts, last minute questions – every one will go left unanswered.
Jumpers, fan clubs, friends of friends – I don’t need to hear it said to understand.

Starting now, no more do overs.
I’ll be on the up and up despite all of this bad luck.
Track Name: Have My Cake (and Eat it, Too)
I built a life up north, but left my heart to hold the fort so in good time, across state lines, I'll be again.
Now I spill my guts from coast to coast in hopes I might find a way to see this through - to find my way back home to you.

I can't have it all at once, but I refuse to give you up.
No, I can't have it all at once, but you here now is more than enough.

With every shift I watch my conscience work to keep itself upright, sorting through the pros and cons for dear life.
but in your eyes I see my hands are where proof's burden still resides.
that's how I know I'll find my way back home to you.

You're more than enough to keep me crossing thresholds, weathering the storm.
As our friends touch home base safely, I'll be running back for more of the places I have loved, all the pieces I have lost. As I redefine livelihood, you'll be my only thought.
Track Name: Roads? Where We're Going, We Don't Need Roads.
To every swollen throat and broken note, I sang a melody to keep them far from my reach. As I leave, I know no words can make amends, but the ticket's in my hands and I'll soon be riding on the wing with style and simplicity.

Simple doesn't mean it's easy to live with the choices that are taking me so far away from all that you're becoming and everything you'll do. I hope someday you learn to see yourselves the way I see you.

With every self-indulgent argument, another rant about minding the gap took shape inside my head. Somehow, from every time they said, "Hey, kid - just play it safe" to every night spent wiping sorrow from my face, you drew me out of my uncertainty with style and simplicity.

Thanks for never letting me give up, for giving me the guts to make this mine. Though I've been counting down the days and nights to our goodbye, you know I'd be lying if I said it doesn't break my heart to walk away, but I can't stay.

So this is where I say something inspiring and remind you how beautiful you are, but truth be told, I just want you to know that stay or go, because of you, this place is home.

To every swollen throat and broken note, I'll sing a melody to keep them far from your reach as I leave.